Identity and Perspectives

It’s question time! There have been a few concepts bouncing around my head lately. While I know my own perspective, I’d love to get some of my readers’ perspectives on these questions.

For those who are working towards being a healthy weight:

A) Do you worry that too much of your identity is tied up in being overweight?

B) Do you worry about losing “who you are” once the pounds are gone?

C) Have friends/family gone out of their way to sabotage your weight loss efforts? How did you deal with it?

For those of you that are already at goal:

A) Did you worry about losing your identity “as a fat person” once you were no longer overweight?

B)  Do you feel like your personality changed when you lost the weight?

C) Did friends/family ever go out of their way to sabotage your weight loss efforts? How did you deal with it?

Personally I don’t worry about “losing my identity” when I’ve lost my weight. Who I am is who I am, fat, thin or in between. What I am concerned about is dealing with people around me who might feel threatened or even angry at the changes I’ll go through. I’ve had people (usually close family members) go out of their way to sabotage my previous weight loss efforts. I find that harder to deal with than people being out and out rude about my weight. Mostly because there’s this unspoken belief that family are supposed to want to support you when you’re trying to better yourself. When they do the exact opposite, it can be challenging to deal with. However, I am able to recognize that the people who tried sabotaging me previously have weight issues themselves and were acting out their own feelings of anger and helplessness. They felt that anger because they believed they could never do what I am doing. (Does that make sense?)

I know that right now a lot of my identity is tied up in my weight. I also know that once the weight is gone, that focus on my being overweight will be gone and my self image will learn to re-identify as a regular to thin person. So I’m not terribly worried that right now my identity is so closely tied to being fat. I’m pretty confident that my self-image will “right itself” once I’m no longer fat.

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2 thoughts on “Identity and Perspectives

  1. Your personality, your heart or your attitude doesn’t have to change when you begin to lose weight, if anything you just gain more confidence, less physical pressures, and you still have compassion for those try! .. . I agree in that family and friends somehow say they will support you however when it means the changes may affect THEM( such as no sodas, junk food and ice cream in the house, and no parties outside of the house for a little while), while those foods are still affecting you then they are quick to turn to voice their displeasure! I found that the weight loss program, that still incorporated all of the things my family and myself wanted was Weight Watchers, you can literally have it all, just in smaller portions and it helps to correct emotional eating, when properly followed. As for the people that are going to hate you for loving yourself, they only wish they could stop hating themselves and by you loving yourself more and more, maybe you will inspire them to love themselves.

  2. I am one who has lost most of the weight I’ve desired to lose and I think that not only did not lose who I was, but I was able to rediscover me beyond weight stereotypes. You will be treated differently by those around you after dropping the pounds and it sucks that your weight can be a factor limiting certain aspects of your life, but I guess that’s just how society is. I am naturally an outgoing person but when I packed on the weight I turned into a shameful hermit with little to no confidence. So when I lost the weight I was able to feel comfortable in being me again.

    There were a few instances where my mom and sister would play the “concerned” role thoughout the process by acting like I was losing weight too fast or hint that I was not eating or had some type of eating disorder, which of course was never the case, but you’re always going to have the Debbi Downers when embarking on such a liberating journey. People (especially family) tend to want to keep you in this state of needing them and once you take control of something like this, you tend to need them less or heaven forbid, you may start to look better than they do! There are always going to be those who come around just to poo in your coffee, but you just go right ahead, toss it in the trash and order another non-fat latte because this isn’t for them, this is for YOU! 🙂

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